Here is some light entertainment for those who share their lives with cats or dogs.

 Don’t Keep Your Dog Waiting:

Or he will whine pitifully, staring at his dish, until you remember to feed him. He may also chew the carpet.

  Don’t keep your Cat waiting:

  Or he will consider the fresh food swimming in the tank, the furry meatball in the wheel, or the feathered kebab on a stick in the cage as a suitable alternative.

What to Feed The Dog:

  Your Dog will enjoy a variety of food, from you and from the ground. He will gratefully wolf down anything you give him the minute it touches down (especially if it is something you have accidentally dropped)

 What to Feed The Cat:

  Your Cat MAY deign to saunter over to see what luxury you have put in his dish (and it had better be a luxury) – unless the furry meatball has filled him.

Changing Your Dog’s Diet:

  If your Dog doesn’t get his favourite food, he will probably eat what you give him anyway. It goes down so quickly, he may not even notice.

 Changing Your Cat’s Diet:

  You’ll have to change your Cat’s diet. Even your cat’s favourite luxury will suddenly become totally unacceptable.

Easing The Budget of Your Dog:

  If you buy cheap muck for your dog, he’s likely to still eat it. He’ll then follow it with grass for dessert so that he can deposit it back on your carpet.

Easing The Budget of Your Cat:

  It may amuse your cat to eat cheap food hungrily, once. He’ll then smugly watch you buy crates of it, and refuse to ever walk near it again.

Giving Treats To Your Dog:

 He LOVES them, and will do all kinds of demeaning begging and tricks to get them.

Giving Treats To Your Cat:

  Your cat will look at you in disbelief if you expect excitement and gratitude. He simply steals what he fancies, when he fancies it.

How Often Should You Feed your Dog:

 One good meal a day is usually enough for your dog. Though it probably wasn’t a dog who decided that.

 How Often Should You Feed your Cat:

 Immaterial. His life will consist of casually wandering between the places he gets fed.

  TIP: NEVER FEED YOUR DOG AND CAT SIDE BY SIDE. YOUR DOG CAN’T READ, SO MAY WELL EAT FROM “CAT”. HE WILL THEN END UP WITH ONE EAR LESS THAN HE BEGAN EATING WITH.